Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
