I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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