I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize