just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I want to be your penis for a week.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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