Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
