If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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