apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
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Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
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I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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