Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
