Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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