Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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