people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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