i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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