i already hear my dad disowning me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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