How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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