He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
