i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
