Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
