I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize