somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
