just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
dude. I can hear the air.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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