3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
