The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
