ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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