Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
