I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
