wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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