True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
