I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
