After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
