So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
