YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
