I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
