I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
