Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
