I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
