the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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