bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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