he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
