so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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