Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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