He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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