I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
