The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
40s are totally the cure
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
