He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
