arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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