i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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