is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
