so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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