so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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