He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
