omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
