Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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