i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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