i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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