The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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