You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
