so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize