Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
