My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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