I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
