Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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