I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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