so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
