I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
