The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize