I CAN MOONWALK!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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