brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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