i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
